Alien Manifesto Read online

  “The team hasss gathered in the conference room Human Tom, if you would be ssso kind azsss to join usss,” hissed Snarth.

  “Yes sir,” I said out of reflex.

  I hurriedly dressed and I wondered if the team finally had another mission.

  ~

  When I arrived at the conference room, I slid into the only available seat, next to the feline master. Her nose wrinkled in distaste.

  “At least you could have bathed, you smell like mating,” she mewed disapprovingly.

  “You don’t smell any better,” I shot back.

  “Do you not remember anything the master taught you?” she hissed as we waited for Snarth. She being perfectly groomed as always. As I readied a retort, Snarth arrived.

  “Welcome back everyone,” Snarth said, greeting the team. “I am pleasssed with the progressss you have all made in your training. It isss time to begin our next missssion. I have a rival, ssSniggle, who hasss become too interesssted in my busssinessss dealingsss. In particular the whereaboutsss of the artifact we recovered from ssShorty.

  “Now, I have already sssold it to a buyer who wissshesss to remain anonymousss, acquiring a great deal of profit in the processss. ssSniggle hasss convinced the leader of the Followersss of Eli, a cult of religiousss fanaticsss, that I ssstill have the artifact. The buyer wissshesss to keep hisss possssessssion of it a sssecret for obviousss reasssonsss. He hasss hired me to convince the cult leader that ssSniggle isss indeed the one who hasss it.

  “Our job isss to infiltrate the cult and convince the cult leader that ssSniggle hasss the artifact,” Snarth continued. “You will be usssing the cover ssstory of having been on the team that ssstole the artifact originally. And having become disssgruntled with the former employer, me; enough to sssell the location of the artifact. Thisss ssshouldn’t be too difficult azsss the cult leader’sss obsssesssion with finding the artifact isss legendary. However, convincing him that you are willing to betray your former employer will not be azsss easssy; it never isss with fanaticsss. I have decided that Tom and the feline massster will infiltrate the cult usssing the guissse of a ssstealth massster and ssstudent for hire who know the whereaboutsss of the artifact,” hissed Snarth. “Thisss cult’sss entire purpose revolvesss around the sssearch for the artifact and they are extreme fanaticsss. Gaining acceptance will not be easssy,” he hissed. “The ressst of the team will deploy in the city sssurrounding the cult’sss temple in order to ssserve azsss backup if extraction isss needed. Thisss isss a multicultural planet ssso blending in will not be difficult, provided you have the right cover ssstory.”

  Snarth began handing out computer and credit chips to the team members. “On thessse chipsss you will find your cover ssstory, credentialsss and any credit you might need. Memorize them; your life may depend on it. Now everyone get a good night’sss sssleep, we depart for the temple at 0400 tomorrow. Human Tom and Massster feline: I have sssome detailsss to go over in private. If you would be ssso kind azsss to pleasssse join me in my quartersss later. That isss all, you are disssmisssed.” That finished the longest speech I had ever heard Snarth give.

  As I headed back to my quarters to bathe, I wondered how the feline master and I would get along. Snarth seemed to think we would be able to or he would not have partnered us together. I had no idea what to expect, so I spent the next few hours studying my role on the computer chip. I did not realize it at the time but Snarth had given me a new identity, one I could use anywhere in this new life of mine.

  Later the feline master and I arrived at Snarth’s private quarters to find him enjoying his fountain of youth. I could not help but grin in anticipation. The feline master had obviously been introduced to the machine’s pleasures before, as she wasted no time in joining Snarth. I being the one of lesser status waited until invited.

  Seeing my hesitation Snarth said, “Come my boy, don’t be ssshy, dive in!”

  As I gave myself to the energy, I could see it was having a similar effect on the feline master. She was on her back writhing in ecstasy. I could smell the musk of her scent and it excited me, wildly.

  “Children, pleassse contain your passsionsss,” hissed Snarth. “We have busssinessss to attend to.”

  I snapped my attention back to him at the sound of his voice but in the back of my mind was the feline master’s dance of ecstasy.

  Snarth continued, “I don’t know what persssonal differencesss you two have, but I sssuggessst azsss your employer that you sssettle them here and now.”

  The feline master began to groom her furry face and mewed, “He disrespects his former master and it offends me.”

  “The Massster wasss my friend and azsss far azsss I know, he and Tom never had the ceremony making them massster and ssstudent,” Snarth hissed.

  The feline master paused her grooming. “Is that true?” she asked me.

  “I respected what the master taught me and it was a great personal loss when he died in my arms. But, he never formally acknowledged me as his student that I know of,” I answered.

  “How did he die?” She mewed softly.

  “He was killed by a cloaked security mech,” I answered.

  She stood over me and looked me eye to eye. I could feel her hot breath on my cheeks and hear her purring with pleasure. “He was my father” she hissed. I felt a chill run down my spine.

  “I didn’t know. I am deeply sorry for your loss.” I stammered, trying to comfort her.

  With a louder hiss, she spat “You humans, so sentimental. I forget that you have attachments to your birth parents. I however do not suffer from such weaknesses. Once my kind leaves the care of our mother we are on our own. I haven’t seen my father in a very long time. But, I have been trying to live up to his reputation all my life. And now I find that he was killed protecting a mere human whom he didn’t even acknowledge as a student. You have much to learn if I am going to accept you as my student.” Taken aback by her statement, my mind was reeling, I did not know what to say.

  Fortunately for me, Snarth did. “Massster feline,” he hissed softly, “your father mussst have ssseen potential in young Human Tom here or elssse he wouldn’t have taught him ssso much. Actually for a human he isss quite good. Pleassse I am asssking you, teach him.”

  Now I was starting to get mad. Mere human, who the hell do they think they are? I’m standing right here. Just as I was about to register my indignation they both turned to look at me.

  “See, he is easily offended and barely able to control his anger. I cannot teach him,” mewed the feline master.

  “He will learn patience if you will but teach him,” Snarth hissed, insistently. “Tom, tell her about how you acquired the object from the massster in order to gain acceptance to the team,” Snarth insisted.

  My anger at being called a mere human cooled as I related how I had seemingly outsmarted the feline master.

  “How long did you become the rock?” she asked.

  “It was at least 2 hours,” I answered.

  Snarth interjected, “More like 8 hoursss Tom.”

  “Snarth is exaggerating,” I countered.

  “And you were able to evade my father even when he was cloaked?”

  “Yes,” I answered, “I could feel him, see him in my mind’s eye, and I just floated to the ceiling.”

  “Perhaps there is more to you than I realized,” mewed the feline master.

  “You are very young,” interjected Snarth. “Your father wasss very wissse. He wasss able to easssily sssee thingsss that would essscape mossst beingsss.”

  Drawing herself to her full height in front of me and looking me in the eyes again, the feline master said, “Human Tom, I take you as my student. Training will begin tomorrow.” With that, she turned and left as silently as a puff of smoke.

  “Okay Snarth, what have you gotten me into?” I demanded after the stealth master’s departure.

  “Easssy my boy, jussst think of it azsss life experience,” he hissed. “I do, however, have sssome thingsss that w
ill make your life easssier in the near future.”

  With a flourish, he presented me with a pair of furry boots and an electronic bracelet. “Thessse bootsss will cancel all sssound azsss you walk on any sssurface. Thisss bracelet will masssk all ssscentsss and make you invisssible without a detectable power sssignature. Ussse them well young Human Tom. Now I sssuggessst you get sssome sssleep. You are going to need it.”

  As the young human left the room, Snarth smiled to himself. Those two may as well be mated. They just do not know it yet. She will train him and watch out for him. He will fight to the death to defend her, Snarth thought. This gambit might just work after all.

  The team, minus Snarth, arrived the next day at the spaceport on the planet where the Followers of Eli headquarters was located, in a public transport. This out of the way planet was a haven for those who wished to go unnoticed in their business dealings.

  The canine master was traveling as a prizefighter for the entertainment of the many bars that held organized fights on this planet. The Irishman was a rare spice dealer plying his wares at the market outside the temple’s main entrance. He was also the canine fight master’s trainer. Finally, the stealth master and I were warriors for hire. Snarth traveled separately to avoid any possible spies, posing as a rich tourist.

  I had wondered how we were going to get our weapons on the transport. I need not have worried. Personal protection was the law of the land. In addition, the penalty for murder was instant death by the nearest galactic security mech. Who was both judge and jury. There would be no trial. The rules of personal combat were well established and strictly adhered to. This resulted in a very polite and well-armed society who minded their own business, pointedly.

  The Irishman was able to set up his rare spice shop in full view of the temple’s main entrance. The canine master already had a fight that very first night. The only truly tricky part was getting an audience with the head of security of the temple. However, the feline master had managed. It would seem her reputation preceded her.

  The head of security hardly glanced in my direction, circling the seated feline master, pacing nervously. It or should I say he, reminded me of an Earth ferret, only much bigger, over five feet tall. As the ferret questioned the feline master, she remained calm and composed, her tail curled around her legs, never twitching. The ferret was a dirty, smelly, deviant looking animal. I knew it would wander too close to the feline master. It was just a matter of how close she would let it get.

  With a spit, the feline master slashed at the throat of the ferret, pulling her claws at the last instant, sparing the unsuspecting ferret’s life, in a show of force. The ferret backed off, squealing an apology. I found myself on my feet, blaster drawn in reflex. The feline master waved me down.

  As the ferret watched, his beady eye staring intently, I holstered my weapon with the flourish I learned from Snarth. Then I relaxed, leaning against the wall, not taking my seat. Apparently, this was all part of the game of deceit we were playing. Finally, the ferret stopped pacing and the feline master rose to leave, silent as a puff of smoke. An agreement had been reached.

  That night after a sparse meal of some Snarth-supplied rations in our quarters, the feline master and I went to the bar where the canine had his first fight. We were both spectators and back up. I was amazed at the variety of life forms at the fight. It was a roiling mass of smells and cultures the like of which I had never imagined could be.

  However, the Irishman and I were the only Earthlings I saw. There were several other humanoid looking species, both male and female, however no more Earthlings. In my wildest dreams or nightmares, I would have never believed I would one day be in a place like this.

  Unexpectedly the feline master threw a straight-armed chop at my neck from behind. Instinctively I avoided it untouched, and turned with weapon drawn, controlling the urge to fire at the last second. It was just another one of the master’s lessons in avoidance. She bowed her head ever so slightly so everyone around could see that I was her student, and that this had been a test of my reflexes and awareness.

  As I felt the eyes of the immediate crowd train on me, sizing me up, I realized that it had also been a not so subtle warning to those around me. I holstered my blaster with a flourish and returned the master’s bow. It suddenly became less crowded around me.

  As the first bell started the fight, the master and I were in good position to assist the canine and his trainer the Irishman should something go wrong.

  It only took the canine fight master about fifteen seconds to defeat his first opponent: a large animal covered with long fur, arms that seemed too long and fangs so large they hung down past its lower jaw. It was unlike any creature I had ever seen. One of his famous roundhouse kicks to the jaw was all it took. I had been on the receiving end of that kick myself. I rubbed my ribs as I remembered its power.

  Boos and some cheers erupted from the crowd as the canine master raised his arms and pranced around the ring in a victory dance around his fallen opponent, adding insult to injury. It would seem that the defeated rodent-looking being, for lack of a better description, had been a crowd favorite. It reminded me of a huge badger with overly large fangs, unusually long, muscular arms and a short snout.

  “Who’s next?” growled the canine in defiance to the crowd’s jeers. From the crowd came an enormous howl. It was another canine and he was huge. Drool dripped from his mouth as he pounded his chest and howled another challenge. The crowd went wild. The reigning planet champion was issuing the challenge.

  “Bring it on, pretty boy,” the canine master howled from the ring, pounding his chest, accepting the challenge.

  Now the canine master is the best I have ever seen, but this other canine was a full head taller, a very heavily muscled, professional fighter. I glanced at the feline master, she sat absolutely still, her nose and tail twitching, the fur standing up along her back. I would follow her lead.

  As the bell rang, the two fighters charged toward one another, colliding in the center of the ring, growling, jaws snapping furiously. The canine fight master slid under the bulk of his opponent and slashed him down one leg with his fangs, hobbling him. With a roar of anger, the champion lunged on his injured leg and fell to the canvas. In a split second, the canine master was on top of his opponent, seizing him around the throat with his jaws. The crowd fell into a hushed stunned silence of surprise.

  With sheer brute strength, the champion shook the canine master loose, leaving his neck torn open and bloodied. The canine fight master was already on the attack landing another of his deadly flying roundhouse kicks squarely on the champion’s jaw. The champion stood, swaying, while the fight master circled, waiting and watching for the next opening in his opponent’s guard.

  They circled, snarling, and the champion once again tried to charge, leading with his injured leg, and falling to the mat. The master was on him in an instant, trapping the champion in a chokehold from behind. Slowly the champion lost consciousness and slid to the mat, beaten.

  This time, however, the canine master did no victory dance around the ring in front of the stunned crowd. He could barely stand from exhaustion; he had taken quite a beating. As the Irishman rushed him from the ring, the crowd erupted in applause. Until tonight, the champion was undefeated. In his long reign, he had maimed many opponents, even killing a few.

  The next morning the head of temple security waylaid me. “That was some fight last night,” the ferret squeaked to me as he circled me. “Do you know the winner?” he asked, pausing to study my answer, his nose twitching nervously.

  “I wish I did, then maybe he would show me some moves,” I answered, smiling, alerted by his question.

  “He arrived on the same transport as you did,” squeaked the ferret accusingly, resuming his circling.

  He had stopped me on my way to the temple gymnasium where I was to meet the feline master and begin my daily workout. “Is that so?” I replied as I tried to head down the hallway, wanting to avoid a conf
rontation.

  Blocking my way, “Yes that is so,” hissed the ferret. He was unaware of the appearance of the feline master behind him so silent was she.

  “Maalox, what is the meaning of this,” spat the feline master, causing the ferret to jump two feet in the air in surprise, drawing his weapon mid-air.

  The feline master sprang, swatting the weapon from Maalox’s paw in one blinding movement. Maalox landed in a crumpled heap in the corner holding his injured paw.

  “I think you are both spies,” he hissed. “I will be watching you both very closely no matter if the leader trusts you or not.”

  In another blindingly fast move, the feline master was on top of Maalox, her claws extended at his throat. “If you ever question my honor or bother my student again I will disembowel you rather than disarm you,” yowled the infuriated feline master, her tail whipping back and forth in anger, as she let him get up. With a terrified squeak, the ferret fled down the hallway without looking back; the feline master let him go.

  “Human Tom, you must be more careful,” mewed the stealth master. “Maalox will not soon forget his disgrace, so watch your back.”

  “Yes master,” I replied, my head bowed in respect. I had never seen her in action before and I was impressed. The ferret Maalox had not gotten a bead on her and she could have killed him easily with seemingly no effort even after he had drawn his blaster. I am glad she is on my side.

  “We must report Maalox’s suspicions to Snarth; he will tell us how to proceed. If Maalox convinces the leader that we are spies we may have to leave in a hurry. If that happens we will have failed in our mission. Go to the Irishman’s shop and tell him to have Snarth contact me as soon as possible,” ordered the feline master.

  “Yes master,” I answered. Then I hurried toward the market while she kept an eye out to see who followed me and how bad the security breach really was.

  As I entered the tent of the Irishman’s spice shop, I waited to be noticed. “Do you have any hot Earth peppers?” I inquired of the Irishman.